My Immortal
by Caz Malfoy
Summary: SLASH. If you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave, cos your presence still lingers here.


_Disclaimer: I don't own CSI:NY or the lyrics to 'My Immortal'. No profit is being made._

**Warning: Mentions of 9/11**

My Immortal

Mac Taylor's hazel eyes flickered open. He didn't need to glance over at the red digits of the alarm clock to know what time it was. Mac rarely slept past four am.

Carefully Mac slid out of the bed, trying not to wake the other occuptant of the bed who needed; the past month had been particularly stressful on everyone.

Mac dressed in a pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt, preparing to go on his daily five mile run. It was an earlier start than he was used to be he knew that if he spent an hour lying in bed, his partner would wake up.

Mac grabbed Danny's iPod from where it was lying next to the television. While Mac wasn't completely up-to-date on technology he knew how to use the personal music system; even if his taste of music was different from Danny's.

Mac had been running for about thirty minutes when he stopped to take a breath. He hadn't been paying attention to where he was going until he stopped. But, looking up at his surroundings, he felt his heart tighten where his feet had taken him. Ground zero.

Mac slowly walked towards the barriers and rested his hands against the cool metal. As he stood there Mac finally paid attention to what he was listening to.

_'These wounds won't seem to heal.  
__This pain is just too real.  
__There's just too much that time cannot erase.'_

Mac's journey back to his apartment was slower and more meloncoloy than his run. He couldn't believe it had been so long since Claire had been killed. Sometimes he felt like it was yesterday. There were times when thoughts of Claire became so overwhelming that he could barely stand the emptiness he felt.

When Mac arrived back at his apartment Danny was gone, but there was a note on the dresser telling Mac that Danny had headed back to his place because he'd forgotten his badge the night before and that he'd see Mac at work.

Mac peeled off his clothes as he headed through the aparment towards the bathroom. As he felt the warm water wash over him, his thoughts went to Danny.

The hot tempered Itatlian CSI was in Mac's heart as much as Claire. They had started out as nothing more than colleagues, with Danny as Mac's subordinate. Mac had still been married yo Claire when he had first hired Danny. He couldn't deny that he had been attracted to the New Yorker from the beginning because he had. It had taken four years, and a lot of alcohol, to admit his feelings to Danny.

Msc had stepped out from underneath the spray of the shower and dried himself off. Mac knew that he was very lucky to have someone as understanding as Danny was. Danny had been there whne Claire had been killed. Danny has seen the transition from the man Mac had been prior to 9/11, into the man he became; cold and hollow, shut off to the world.

Danny had finally managed to break through that shell and Mac could sense himself breaking more of his barriers down with Danny.

When Mac arrived at the lab there was no sign of the rest of his team. Deciding that he'd take advantage of the peace and quiet, Mac headed to his office to fill out the forms his supervisor role required him to complete.

Not even fifteen minutes after logging onto the computer there was a quiet knock on the door to Mac's office. Mac looked up and smiled at Danny.

"Mornin'," Danny greeted.

"Hey," Mac responded quietly. Danny looked as if he was going to say something but changed his mind. "What's wrong?" Mac asked his younger lover. Danny shook his head and Mac lifted an eyebrow. "Danny."

Danny sighed. "I was just going to ask if you were okay," he admitted quietly.

"Yeah, why?" Mac asked in confusion.

Danny stared. "I just meant with today being, well... you know?" he shrugged in embarassment.

Mac frowned again and looked at the calendar on the wall, then it hit him. Hard. The reason he had been drawn to Ground Zero without even realising it. It was the eleventh of Septemeber already.

"I," Mac started. "I didn't even realise what day it was," he admitted.

Danny started a little before smiling. "That's a good thing though, right?" he asked hesitantly.

"I suppose," Mac sighed, running his hand over his face.

"I'm sorry," Danny apologised.

Mac waved his apology off and indicated that Danny should come further into the office. Which he did, sitting down on the couch Mac had.

"Do you know where I ended up this morning?" Mac asked. Danny shook his head silently. "Ground zero. I didn't even know what day it was but I was still drawn there. I dunno, maybe my subconious took me there," Mac shrugged his shoulders.

Danny remained silent. Normally he was pretty good at thinking of things to say, but there were certain times when he had no idea what he could possibly say to his lover that wouldn't make him sound like a fool.

Mac shook his head, as if to push away memories of Claire and bring himself back to the present. "Here," he said, opening his drawer and pulling out Danny's iPod.

"I wondered where I'd left that," Danny murmured. He got to his feet and accepted the electronical device from Mac.

"I borrowed it this morning," Mac told him.

Danny smirked. "I thought you didn't like the music I listened to," he grinned.

Mac rolled his eyes and shook his head, a small smile on his face. "It's okay," he grudgingly admitted, his fingers brushing over the back of Danny's hand as he released the iPod.

Danny swallowed thickly and suppressed the shiver of pleasure, cursing the fact that Mac's office had glass walls.

"I should get back to work," Danny whispered.

"Yeah," Mac said, looking into Danny's blue eyes. "I'll see you tonight?" he asked hopefully.

"You can count on it," Danny grinned. He lingered for a moment longer before heading back into the lab.

For the first time in a long time, Mac actually felt like he had a reason to smile again. He had thought he would never feel like that again. He knew that there would always be the pain at losing Claire but with Danny holding him when the pain became too much, Mac knew that he would be able to handle everything.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
__This pain is just too real  
__There's just too much that time cannot erase_

The End


End file.
